(part 32) PAUSE TO THINK IT OVER IN 2008

Bobby Jameson 2007

In the last few days I have begun to question why I am bothering to write this story at all. I keep telling myself that it's because I want the facts known for the first time. But as I write the facts and prepare to write more facts, I am thinking that perhaps I am just fooling myself and that this story would be better off left to history and the collective opinion regarding Bobby Jameson and Chris Lucey, which has been, and I guess still is, pretty low.

There is nothing important about my story except that it happened to me. There are no offers to make right any of the wrongs done in the past and I cannot change one thing about what happened, or the mind of even one person, who may have been involved. Probably all that I can hope to accomplish is that a few people will be a bit uncomfortable over some of the things I may say.

All in all this is probably a waste of time. I had hoped, initially, that the telling of a true story, my story, might have an effect on those who I name as persons involved in the story. But if I'm honest with myself, I pretty much already know that will not happen. As I said, my story is probably only important to me, because I lived through it.

To think that anyone else but me will take this seriously, is most likely wishful thinking on my part. I know what I'm in for emotionally, because I know where this story's going. So far the details haven't had much to do with the compound and hardcore events that will eventually become central to the whole story, should I continue. I doubt that anyone reading what I write will ever understand.