(part 234) FORCED TO PICK YOUR COTTON

Me, Carol Paulus, and Ringo Starr

Walking through the fire is exactly what I was doing, in 1985, in spades. On one hand I was dedicated, on a level close to obsession, to creating and finishing these songs, while on the other, I watched my life continue to spiral downward.

A prominent, if not the most prominent, factor in my life, was that I was nearly always somebody's house guest, as opposed to being situated in my own surroundings.

No matter how hard I worked, or how long I worked, I had never attained the wherewithal to retain and maintain even the most minimal of housing for myself. I was, for the most part, a live-in toy, for a whole lot of women.

Good or bad, my talent for making myself desirable to members of the opposite sex, was how I existed, for the most part, from 1964 to 1985. It was singularly one of the worst problems I had to reckon with.

I was nearly always subject to the demands of whose home I was in. There was little freedom to be myself at any given moment, for fear of upsetting whomever was my benefactor.

This was a double-edged sword that I was constantly at odds with. "Thank you for having me, but I'm really fed up with having to be had."

Whether it was my hours, the type of music I was writing, or my frustrations at being hogtied by my own needs, these problems plagued me to the point of angry outbursts.

I felt like a beggar in the world. Always in distress because of conditions, and forced to live where I did not want to be, so I could accomplish what I wanted to do, which was to work.

The song, I Don't Beg Nobody, is an example of my need to voice my dissatisfaction with these arrangements, even though those arrangements allowed me a way to complain about them; another dichotomy.

The lyrics, and the feel of the song, are also aimed at the music and record business as a whole, and at the individuals from my past who I felt had sold me out for one reason or another.

"I may have been forced to pick your cotton, but I'll always be my own man." These are not lyrics from I Don't Beg Nobody, but they do sum up for me what the song represents as a statement.

Being a beggar of sorts was what I was, while at the same time demanding of myself not to see myself as one. The point, for me, was to remember that the conditions of my life existed in the way they did as a result of concrete consequences, not by choice.

To listen to others opinion about me, was to hear that it was all my own fault, and that others had merely tried to help me. My version was set forth in the lyrics and attitudes of the songs I was writing and recording at the time.



I DON'T BEG NOBODY

I'M NOT YOUR FOOL BABY
I'M THE KING
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
FOR NO DAMN THING
YOU AIN'T GOT THE MONEY
OR ENOUGH GOOD LOOKS
I'M AN OLD CATFISH
I DON'T BITE NO HOOKS

I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
FOR NO DAMN THING

YOU DON'T PAY MY BILLS
YOU DIDN'T BUY MY CAR
YOU'RE A REAL GOOD LOOKER
AND A CANDY BAR
BUT I'M THE KING BEE BABY
AND I KNOW HOW TO STING
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
FOR NO DAMN THING

I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
FOR NO DAMN THING

I'LL TREAT YOU GOOD
IF YOU'RE GOOD TO ME
BUT IF YOU START ACTING EVIL
I'LL SET YOU FREE
LISTEN TO ME WOMAN
CAUSE HERE'S WHAT'S TRUE
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
AND I WON'T BEG YOU

I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
I DON'T BEG NOBODY
FOR NO DAMN THING

Bobby Jameson 1985