This comment was posted by an anonymous commenter on my post "This Time Will Be Different" a couple of days ago. I will attempt to decipher the actual meaning and intent of this comment, which congratulates me on my success at staying clean and sober, but quickly switches to a quote of mine to set up the needed groundwork for what is to come.
"But I still need to learn that me and the music business are done"
Following this quote, the commenter launches into the real point of their comment, which is to belittle me, while pretending to offer helpful advice. It fails completely at understanding the difference between being in the music business, and writing about the music business, while not actually being in it anymore.
The commenter goes on to trash the music business with a number of hyperbolic words, that I wonder if the commenter really understands from their own experience, or has just chosen to make a point. I am congratulated for some of my work, while at the same time, dismissed, for the rest of my work. Each bit of praise is followed by a dismissal of the praise just given. In other words, no matter what you did, or do, right, you are still not right enough, in the commenter's opinion. I suffer from bad luck, according to the commenter, but on the other hand am lucky I didn't make it, because if I had, it would have killed me.
i love this part of the commenter's comment,
"I took the time to post this on your blog with good intentions, and if it comes across as unwarranted criticism, lecturing, or some inept or sanctimonious attempt at "tough love" it is intended to be none of those."
"Really? That's exactly what it is you fucking moron. It is you coming here, and taking a lot of time, and effort, to post your sanctimonious, unsolicited advice, and criticism of me, on my blog. You set yourself up as being, not only critical, and condescending, but excuse yourself from any intention to be that way, while being it."
The commenter goes on to say I did a good job of telling my side of the story, but again reverses course to demean me for continuing to post my thoughts and music here. At the same time, the commenter belittles anyone, and everyone, who likes what I do, as unknowing weaklings for liking it.
In finishing up. the commenter tells me I will never find true peace until I submit myself to promising never to utter another word about the music business, or post another repetitive story, or song, involving my past. And then re-clarifies the fact that I am sober, but restates that peace will elude me until what the commenter suggests, as a remedy, is done.
I don't think you are in a position, anonymous, to talk about peace to anyone. I think you are a person who builds yourself up, in your own mind, by belittling others under the guise of help, much like a narow minded pastor in some god awful little cult like church in never land.....FUCK YOU!!!!
AnonymousMarch 30, 2015 at 9:18 PM
Nearly
forty years of sobriety is definitely nothing to be sneezed at, and
certainly seems to be, in your case anyway, a really good thing. You
deserve congratulations.
"But I still need to learn that me and the music business are done ..."
True that. But how can you ever be "done" with the music business when you keep bringing it up all the time and constantly keep posting your same songs & recordings over and over again?
I think it's great and admirable that you have managed to purge alcohol and drugs from your brain & bloodstream, but I doubt you will ever find peace until you someday manage to do the same with your musical past.
I also, like you seem to have implied, think you should put the music business behind you. All of it. It wasn't in the cards for you for whatever reasons.
The music business is, or at least at that time - as you know - for the most part was more often than not an evil dirty lowlife business, controlled by and teeming with greedy, uneducated lazy predators,nutcases, conscienceless "merchants" and organized crime scum.
And had you achieved "success" fame and money in such a business, especially based on your then predilection for alcohol and drugs, it more than likely would have destroyed you, as it did so many that we all miss today.
Granted, some of your music is just as good, and to be fair, some of it just as shitty as all the stuff that was on the radio at that time, but you should know as well if not better than most that getting that first big "hit" is as much about luck, "right place / right time" etc. than it is about talent
(though maintaining that success in my opinion is a somewhat different story).
You were, based on what I have read, unlucky, and even a bit self-destructive career-wise as well.
It's a free country, and you have every right to say and do and post anything you damn well please, and I would vigorously defend your right to do so.
I took the time to post this on your blog with good intentions, and if it comes across as unwarranted criticism, lecturing, or some inept or sanctimonious attempt at "tough love" it is intended to be none of those.
You have told your whole side of the story, and told it well.
But I think that as long as you keep dredging up the music business, posting the same stories and music over and over, etc.
- and while certainly there will always be plenty of online yes-men/women, toadies, inexperienced clueless "civilians" who are starstruck about the music business,
and even genuinely decent well meaning people who, in search of "friendship" or simply in what they think is well-meaning support, will encourage you to keep doing so
- they just might unknowingly be doing you more harm than good.
In the end I doubt you will ever find any true peace until you close and LOCK the door on that whole sad ugly pathetic chapter of your life, as well as put to rest any remaining desires or temptation for "recognition," strokes or even justice
... and just let it go.
Feel free to throw rocks.
Again congratulations on your sobriety, and here's hoping one way or another you eventually find some true peace in this life.
GO TO PART 1 OF BLOG
"But I still need to learn that me and the music business are done ..."
True that. But how can you ever be "done" with the music business when you keep bringing it up all the time and constantly keep posting your same songs & recordings over and over again?
I think it's great and admirable that you have managed to purge alcohol and drugs from your brain & bloodstream, but I doubt you will ever find peace until you someday manage to do the same with your musical past.
I also, like you seem to have implied, think you should put the music business behind you. All of it. It wasn't in the cards for you for whatever reasons.
The music business is, or at least at that time - as you know - for the most part was more often than not an evil dirty lowlife business, controlled by and teeming with greedy, uneducated lazy predators,nutcases, conscienceless "merchants" and organized crime scum.
And had you achieved "success" fame and money in such a business, especially based on your then predilection for alcohol and drugs, it more than likely would have destroyed you, as it did so many that we all miss today.
Granted, some of your music is just as good, and to be fair, some of it just as shitty as all the stuff that was on the radio at that time, but you should know as well if not better than most that getting that first big "hit" is as much about luck, "right place / right time" etc. than it is about talent
(though maintaining that success in my opinion is a somewhat different story).
You were, based on what I have read, unlucky, and even a bit self-destructive career-wise as well.
It's a free country, and you have every right to say and do and post anything you damn well please, and I would vigorously defend your right to do so.
I took the time to post this on your blog with good intentions, and if it comes across as unwarranted criticism, lecturing, or some inept or sanctimonious attempt at "tough love" it is intended to be none of those.
You have told your whole side of the story, and told it well.
But I think that as long as you keep dredging up the music business, posting the same stories and music over and over, etc.
- and while certainly there will always be plenty of online yes-men/women, toadies, inexperienced clueless "civilians" who are starstruck about the music business,
and even genuinely decent well meaning people who, in search of "friendship" or simply in what they think is well-meaning support, will encourage you to keep doing so
- they just might unknowingly be doing you more harm than good.
In the end I doubt you will ever find any true peace until you close and LOCK the door on that whole sad ugly pathetic chapter of your life, as well as put to rest any remaining desires or temptation for "recognition," strokes or even justice
... and just let it go.
Feel free to throw rocks.
Again congratulations on your sobriety, and here's hoping one way or another you eventually find some true peace in this life.
GO TO PART 1 OF BLOG
You chose the perfect photo and title for the words you have written in response to anonymous.
ReplyDeleteOne of the ways to achieve peace of mind is not to hold in your true feelings. Another is to be true to yourself. You've mastered the first and continuously work on the second. We all aspire to have peace of mind and it's a lifelong process to achieve inner peace.
Anonymous is so arrogant in implying what you need to do to ever find that deep inner realization. Human beings have a basic need to be recognized. If you put to rest any desire to be recognized then you might as well give up on living. The music business and your music should not be lumped together. If one of your songs or poems touches just one person in a meaningful way then you've made a difference in someone's life. Ultimately that's what really counts in life. Anyone who could possibly find that detrimental to your well being surely doesn't know what's important in life.
Thank you Joan...I always appreciate your take on this stuff....Bobby
DeleteIt's a weird comment. As you say, a lot of belittling and condescension (very thinly) disguised as praise and helpfulness.
ReplyDeleteI think this "Anonymous" character greatly overestimated their own intellect, and your rebuttal highlights that pretty effectively.
Thank Matthew....Bobby
DeleteDid you leave Facebook ? Burson1972 @hotmail.com
ReplyDelete