I was living at Carol's for one reason: I could work there, even with the drawbacks, better than any place else I could find.
The tape deck and amplifier I was using were hers, so because of that, working there made sense.
The electric guitar I played was borrowed, as was the Rockman Effects box. I owned the small Yamaha keyboard I used for the drums, bass, and organ, and the acoustic guitar and speakers were mine.
I scammed a $75 equalizer and a $14.95 Shure microphone as a gift from a lady named Lee, and the cassette deck was again Carol's, I believe.
Working on these songs, in 1985, kept me busy as well as crazy. I wouldn't eat enough, sleep enough, or treat myself like a human being, because being human was the last thing I felt like.
I resembled a machine more than a person. A machine dedicated to my precise programmed assignment, which was to write and record these songs.
Somewhere in my tortured psyche there was still the hope that, once accomplished, someone would say, "Hey these are really good."
I would lie to myself about this, saying, "I don't care," but in all honesty, that old need was still churning way down deep inside me, but enough of the "I don't give a fuck who likes these" was there to allow me to write and record what I wanted.
Once again, I penned a blues song that was descriptive of how I was at the time. It involved very real pieces of my failing life experience and the emotional turmoil I was in.
The two failed relationships, sober, that ended dismally, and two business arrangements, sober, that had also failed in the long run to change my life into something more reliable and predictable.
The anger, defeat, abandonment, and sheer lack of hope, became lyrically, the bedrock of the song "Movin To Hell." It was, and is, a dark, yet concrete, evaluation of my life then as well as now.
The blues for me was a workshop of the heart and soul. A single place where the bleak realities of struggle and defeat could be set to music and tempo, and allowed to fill the air with a message and plea for something better, a society, claimed out of love by many, but only truly understood by one's own walk through the fire.
WOKE UP THIS MORNIN
WITH AILIN HEALTH
CALL ME A DOCTOR
GONNA KILL MYSELF
IT DON'T MATTER
AND I DON'T CARE
I'LL BE MOVIN TO HELL
IF THE BLUES AIN'T THERE
WORK SO HARD
CAN'T SAVE A DIME
SOME DAYS YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO ON TRYIN
IT DON'T MATTER
WHAT YOU DO
YOU CAN'T GET RID
OF THE GODDAMN BLUES
HAD YOU A WOMAN
NOW SHE'S GONE
SHE FINALLY LEFT YOU
WITH A HEART OF STONE
IT DON'T MATTER
WHAT YOU SAY
THOSE GODDAMN BLUES
THEY JUST WON'T GO AWAY
Bobby Jameson 1985
There are 2 versions of Movin To Hell. The first is an acoustic version. The second is an electric version which was cut at the same time in 1985. The edition of the distorted electric guitars adds to the force of the message of the lyrics for some, and will be a distraction for others. I like them both, and recorded them both for my own reasons.
I like both versions very much (okay, you got me...I still prefer the acoustic version...slightly); they each, in their own way, capture that raw aching that only the blues can convey, and these songs blister the soul.
ReplyDeleteWhen you think of the music of the 80's and the introduction of the synthesizers in every phase of pop music (good and bad), you realize how musical fads can become so quickly dated, but this piece could have been written in 1920 or yesterday; it has no age attached to it; it is just a powerfully played and angst-ridden cry from the heart.
Thanks for giving us both versions. This blog continues to be a marvelous musical and historical experience.
Tim
Thanks Tim...I made sure both versions got put up...so the different slants could be examined....I figured you would bow, if only slightly, to the acoustic version...but I am glad to hear you appreciated both of them...Bobby
ReplyDeleteBobby, I have read your whole story and have enjoyed it very much. I wait for each new post to continue the story. I try to read it like I would a book and not get attached even though there is a person at the other end. That is the way we read most books, to get a real picture of the person and have no influence on the story. One way I judge a good book from a mediocre book I read is if I remember thoughts, meanings etc after I finish and years later. I think about your story often throughout the day, so I to me, it is good. One thing I think is cutting edge is the mixture of music and song in the reading.I don't think this has been done before. It really increases the experience. Now here is the hard part I hesitate to do, make a suggestion. I in no way want to effect the creative processes but here goes. Put the music at the top instead of the bottom. I find myself wanting to hear the music as I read, it really comes alive that way. If I forget I tend to drift away or cut the song short. Anyway, Thanks for the History and Tragedy's of life.
ReplyDeleteJohn
Interesting point, John, but putting the songs at the end, after the context of the song, has a certain inherent logic. My suggestion is that those who want to hear the music can zip to the bottom of the post and start the song, then zip back up and read the piece. Voila! We get both approaches available simultaneously.
ReplyDeleteTim
Tim, If I could just post as if it is 20 years from now and I am your standard idiot blogger thinking I know everything I would say this,
ReplyDeleteSince when did Bobby do anything "inherently logical"? Just listening the 1/19/11 Silver nail and reading the post. The reading is finished and the song trails off. I felt like I was there.
but as you say, we all enjoy it our own way.
Thanks Bobby
John
In this particular group of posts I intentionally placed the songs at the bottom. Thanks for your thoughts on this subject...
ReplyDelete