Monday, March 30, 2015

(part 297) 39 years clean and sober




In 2 days I will have been clean and sober for 39 years. For a guy no one believed would get clean and sober in the first place, I feel vindicated to say the least. I may not be mr. happy, but I have not had to get loaded, no matter how rough things have gotten, in the last four decades. While I have fought bitterly, at times, with people in the music business on this blog, I have never lost sight of the one thing that was most important in my life, and that is maintaining the single thing that allowed me to be here at all. People have come and gone, but I am still here attempting, poorly at times, to communicate the ups and downs of a person who has experienced life, in both the fast lane, as well as the slow lane. For some, my achievement means little, while to others it is proof that no matter how crazy you are you can still get clean and stay that way... I may not always look like it, but in the background I measure all that has gone on here by the fact that I am still sober. In my life, without sobriety, I would be, and was, a madman running wild and headed for disaster at all times. My past is riddled with countless stories about nearly achieving my goals, and the reasons why I never did. My reactions to what happened and what didn't happen are the subjects I have tried to explore on this blog. I have failed, and succeeded, at doing that over the years, and continue trying to tie it altogether as I go. I have learned that my allies, over time, may turn into my detractors later on, and visa-versa to some degree. It has been a massive learning experience for me, writing this blog, and still is. What tomorrow may bring has proven to be just about anything as far as I can tell, and no one is ever qualified to predict what it will be, least of all me. I ride it through, and decipher it as I go, and then again in hindsight. It has proven to be difficult as hell to do this in public, as it is happening, but that's the way this blog has been from the beginning. For those of you who find fault with me, give it a try sometime. Put your life on display for anyone to see, and try dealing with the myriad of responses you may get while attempting to do so. I can't really complain about it, because I'm the dumbbell who decided to do it this way.

The good part of writing this blog is that I have been able to tell a story that needed to be told, if only for my own peace of mind. It was the complete lack of a cohesive beginning to the story, and the lack of any context or continuity to it, that bothered me originally. People had written things that weren't true, and had the history all wrong. For years, decades really, I felt the need to say, "Hey, wait a minute, that's not what happened," so finally I just said, "I'll do it myself," and did. it has been a labor of both love and frustration for me. An opportunity to have a voice about the facts and fiction of a crazy son-of-a-bitch who wrote and recorded a lot of songs, and who did a lot of things, with a lot of different people, in a lot of different places. It has been a way for me to make known recordings that no one ever knew about, to tell you about who they were made with, and why. To give, to some degree, insight into the inner workings of things you may, or may not, have found interesting. All in all I have attempted to take up your time, and keep you interested enough to keep coming back.

GO TO PART 1 OF BLOG

10 comments:

  1. Your blog continues to be a wonder. You have used it as an autobiographical outlet to tell a remarkably personal story with universal implications. You have allowed us to share in personal encounters with a remarkable group of great, even iconic musicians, both the big names and those who are brilliant in the studio. You have given us deep insights into the vagaries of the music business and the hucksters, hustlers, charlatans, and, in some cases, the sociopaths who have controlled parts of that business. You have shared an amazing body of music, from commercially released recordings to studio demos to solo home recordings. You have shared a vast array of poetic compositions, often accompanied by perfectly apt photos. More recently, you have shared your family's art as well as their travails and tragedies, which, of course, were your trials and tribulations as well. And through it all, you maintain a nearly unique ability to be introspective and to attempt a self-revealing honesty while offering philosophical, moral, social and religious perspectives on your journeys. The story of your various forms of inebriation, your realization of their myriad dangers, and your resolve in ending your dependence is an amazing, uplifting, inspirational, and empowering story in itself even without the decades of first hand musical experiences and the decades of experiences after walking away from that life.

    This blog continues to be an inspiration. I have thanked you many times, but I thank you again for putting yourself out there in such a public and artistic way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Tim! More than anyone else, I suppose, your words have meant a great deal to me over the years...You have helped me and inspired me at different times, and in many different ways....I have said it before, and will say it again, your thoughts and interest have always been of value to me, both in good times and in bad.... Thank you my friend...Bobby

      Delete
    2. Barbara Blume KlassenApril 1, 2015 at 7:37 PM

      Bobby, I am and always will be proud of what you accomplished. You walked, crawled, stumbled and died through the life that was created for you and the life you, yourself created. Live on. Make it better.

      Delete
  2. 39 years...Wow!! That is wonderful!!! Congratulations to you, Bobby!!!
    I also just want to thank you for your work on this blog! Although I hardly ever comment, I am always reading (and re-reading)!
    Congratulations again!!
    ~Vicky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Vicky for your continued interest and comments...Bobby

      Delete
  3. Congratulations Bobby!!! Thank you for leading the way.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you James...been a long road to walk, but somehow I managed to keep at it a day at a time....Bobby

      Delete
  4. you are too inspiring. from the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything.

    ReplyDelete