(part 14) NO ONE KNEW WHERE I WENT

Peter Caine finally came up with a guy named Lee Karsian, who worked at Ashley Famous Artists. Lee was extremely interested in becoming involved, and had contacts in London who he notified about the Andrew Loog Oldham offer. Once the people in London were satisfied the letter I had received was indeed legitimate, they agreed to finance me coming to London.

They arranged pretty much everything and I assume, because I have never known, that they were in for some sort of piece of the action, believing it was a sure fire arrangement with a substantial benefit for them in the long run. Once again, no one ever brought me a contract to sign or told me any of the details of the arrangement to get me to England. Honestly I never asked because I just wanted away from Tony Alamo. It wasn't important to me at the time, how I got there, it was that I got out of California and as far from Tony as I could.

That's why I went to England. Most people thought, and I guess still think, that it was a big opportunity for me to go there and record with Mick Jagger. But what they don't know is that by me going to England at that time, I killed my career in America. My record "I'm So Lonely" was left to die when I vanished, and I do mean vanished. No one knew where I went except the small number of people who were involved with getting me there. It wasn't until I released a record in England that anyone really knew what had happened to me.

Possibly no one cared one way or another, except for Tony. Peter Caine, Lee Karsian, and I boarded a Plane at LAX and my life changed again. It was still the year 1964, and I had already gone from no one to someone, and now I was on my way to England to do something I had never intended to do. It would have been one thing to go there because my record was doing well, but that was not the case. I was basically starting from scratch in a foreign country and had no idea of what to expect when I got there.

I barely knew Lee, and Peter kept assuring me that it would all be OK when I got to London and met Andrew Oldham. I remember it took a long time to fly to England, a lot longer than I'd imagined. It was the middle of the night and I stared out the window at the lights on the wing and listened to the engines hum out over the Atlantic Ocean. It was an eery feeling being up there at 19, wondering how it was going to turn out. I thought about Tony and all that we had done together, and wished he hadn't screwed it all up. I felt kind of scared and alone, but I was glad that Peter was with me, because I knew he wasn't going to let anything get out of hand along as he was there to keep an eye on things. He and Lee seemed to hit it off from the start and that made things run pretty smooth.

We started the landing approach and I gazed out the window at the yellow lights all over. Lee said that they used yellow lights because of the fog in London, and I said, "Oh yeah, the London fog. I remember that. They gotta lot of fog here in England." I was like a tourist making comments. We were met at the airport by some people and there were no crowds and no cameras. Just a few of Lee's associates and a driver who took us in to Knightsbridge, I believe, and dumped us at what I remember as being an Inn or Bed And Breakfast kind of a place.

It was dark, damp, and cold, and everything looked old and tired. I wasn't too sure what I'd gotten myself into, but it was a long way from California and Tony Alamo and that made it tolerable. The next day was like coming to after a bad drunk. All that time on the airplane, and the times were all changed around, so I started off confused and stayed that way for days. I knew I was going to meet Andrew Oldham and I didn't feel too good. The jet lag and different surroundings played havoc with my brain, but I used what I'd learned on the road and just moved forward through the day. Peter and Lee weren't doing much better, and I think that helped because we started joking about how screwed up we all were and got a good laugh out of it.

(part 13) NOW WHAT DO I DO?

Andrew Loog Oldham

I had already received a letter from Andrew Loog Oldham in England, who was the producer of The Rolling Stones at that time in 1964, but I had not responded to it until after the last incident with Alamo. I had grown wary of Tony over time, but now I was afraid of him. I thought he'd completely flipped out after what he'd said in the office and to me afterwards on the sidewalk outside.

As I mentioned earlier, Peter Caine was the photographer on most of the pictures used in Billboard. He had also become my close personal friend, and I relied on him heavily once I knew I had to get away from Tony. The letter from England was an offer by Oldham of sorts that basically stated, "If you ever get to London I'd be interested in working with you." My previous disregard to his invitation now looked like my chance to leave America and get as far away from Tony as I could.

I believed, and still do, that had I stayed, Tony would have tried and possibly succeeded, in conning me into believing everything could be worked out and we could go on. I didn't want to stick around and find out, so I implored Peter to find someway to get me to England. I had no idea what to expect from Tony once he knew I wasn't going to talk to him. I avoided all contact with him and kept a constant eye out for him.

I knew Tony believed his golden egg was being stolen from him and he wasn't about to let that happen. His position was that I was his property, because he had made me into something of value, but after the office trip I was convinced that he was capable of just about anything. I had no money, but I was still living with Lois, the ex wife of Gordon Gessler, the guy Tony had conned into backing the Billboard campaign.

My life was like a hurricane and the only way to live in it was in the calm of the eye of the storm. Everything outside of that was madness. This meant that all my energy was directed at one goal. Get out of here before something really bad happens. Tony had no contract with me, another flaw in his thinking, so he couldn't legally force me to do anything. This is why I was able to walk away from him in 1964, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

He had never paid me, as I've stated, so I wasn't suddenly going to be without money, hell I never had any to begin with--again another flaw in the character of Tony Alamo. No leverage! He always managed to chase people away, without having some sort of leverage to get them back. As weeks went by I kept hearing things about how Tony was not going to let people steal me away from him now that I was the star he'd made. The constant reports of these kinds of things just kept me on edge and I in return put pressure on everyone around me to get me the hell out of LA and away from this crazy bastard.

(part 12) THE OFFICE, THE MEETING, THE END

Tony Alamo

Tony's position was always "Let me do the dirty work and the business." He kept me away from everything by playing to my one true weakness, which was, "You are the star. You are untouchable. I'll deal with these people, because I know how they think and what they want." I pretty much went along with believing I was a star. He never told me anything about what he was doing when I wasn't around, and I was too inexperienced at the time to demand that kind of cooperation from him. It was Tony and me for sure, but with Tony always taking the lead when it came to deals and money. But the day came when one of Tony's deals required my willing participation with him to accomplish it.

Tony set up a meeting in Beverly Hills with an investor and he told me I had to go with him and meet the guy. I agreed to go not suspecting that my entire world would be turned upside down by the end of that particular day. Prior to the actual meeting I have no recollection of how I got there. I don't remember whether I went with Tony or met him there. I recall vividly being with Tony as we entered the building where the meeting took place. It was on a corner, south of Wilshire Blvd., but I don't recall the exact streets. There was a set of steps going in maybe 3 or 4 steps to the entrance. No one was with us when we went into the office and no one, but the person we were meeting was there when we met him.

The three of us were the only ones there. The man was kind of short, a little overweight and balding. He was friendly and smoking a cigar. He appeared to be jewish, and I don't mean this in a belittling way, he just appeared to be a jewish guy from Beverly Hills, pretty typical. His office was pleasant, but not lavish. It was one large room maybe 40 by 25 feet. At the far end of the room was a desk and chair where the man went, sat down, and faced us. I don't remember if the Billboard ads were up on the wall, but it's possible.

I stayed at the opposite end of the room and sat in a chair a few feet from where we came in. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there trying to look like a star. Tony stood in the middle of the room between the man's desk and my chair. I don't recall what was said, because Tony and the guy were going back and forth for a while. During this exchange Tony took a particular stance in the middle of the room which is hard to explain without sounding like I'm joking, which I'm not, but it kind of looked like a bad impersonation of Elvis Presley.

Tony stretched out one arm and pointed at me and uttered out loud "That is Jesus Christ and if you," now pointing his other arm and finger at the guy, "do not give him $50,000 he will point his finger at you and you will die!" I looked over at the man just in time to see that his face looked frozen. His jaw fell open and his cigar just kind of rolled out onto his desk. Other than that he didn't move a muscle, but stared at Tony in disbelief, who was still standing with his arms stretched out in the middle of the room.

I could not believe what was happening. I had no way of knowing this was coming, and had no way of dealing with it now that it was here. I remember staring at the floor trying to decide what to do. I just stood up, didn't say anything, and walked out the door as fast as I could. I reached the sidewalk and kind of walked around in little circles hoping that Tony would come out and tell me it was all a joke and that everything was OK. In a few minutes Tony did come out the door and down the steps toward me. "Why did you say that Tony," I pleaded, and stood waiting for some rational explanation to what I had just witnessed. "Because it's the truth," he said, looking right at me. I stared at him in a second wave of disbelief and was devastated by his response, knowing fully at that moment my world had just ended. "No it isn't Tony, no it isn't."

(part 11) IF YOU'RE SURE YOU SEE, YOU CAN'T SEE.

It would be wise to understand, if you are a reader of this, to read only the words I am writing and try to grasp the simple meaning. I have waited 43 years to relay this story, which altered my life forever, and was a central cause in my radical behavior that followed my split from Tony Alamo.

I by no means am the only one who suffered from things done by Tony, but this is my story, and the followers of the Alamos' did not materialize till well after these occurrences. It is too easy to read into this what you want to believe. I am going to great lengths to accurately lay out what transpired.

I make no other claims than the ones I write. There will be no hidden intentions to imply anything not stated clearly by me as I write this. There will be things that I say which will be difficult, at best, to grasp without supposing that something else has been intended by the mere reporting of my recollections.

I realize there is great interest by some in the office meeting spoken of in the past by Tony Alamo. I have already said that there were only 3 people in that office, Tony, me and an investor. There was no press, no movie stars, no nothing other than the three of us. My version of this precise moment in time will be so far removed from what has been stated by Tony, that once you read it you might not be so glad to have to try and explain it to yourselves and each other.

Try and remember that I had to live with this moment, which was not easy, from then till now. It was the day that changed my life forever and caused me to reject outright anything and everything that came out of Tony Alamo's mouth from that day untill now. What I did after that day probably only occurred because of that day. I have been left to wonder for over 40 years what might have happened to me if that day had never happened.

(part 10) THE TIDE TURNED

Ciro's nightclub Sunset Blvd.

After the sick child incident I rebelled against the "Tony's in charge of everything without question" premise. I began to openly disagree with Tony's ideas regarding my future. For example, I refused to let him book me into shows unless I had a band, which I never got. I flat out refused to go and told him if he booked me I wouldn't show up. I brought up the long list of odd things he had done and confronted him for the first time.

I had changed since he first met me. From the hungry kid to a more seasoned performer who'd been on the road a bit and had learned a few things. I asserted myself and my position and Tony didn't like it. The fear of being disapproved of by Tony, which had always been the case, began to crumble in the wake of my new found willingness to stand my own ground and claim my own selfhood. Tony's iron clad power over me had shifted to a "we better work together or else."

Or else what? Therein was the dilemma. Tony's position had always been, "I made Bobby Jameson." He believed, or at least he claimed to believe, that without him I never would have gotten off the ground. In large part that was true. But then I became me, and when that happened, I reclaimed myself from Tony. My new position had become, "yeah, you probably did make me Tony, but now that it's happened I am not the same willing little kid you could control with promises like before."

It was a Mexican standoff and Tony knew it. Hell there was no way he could force me to do anything. It wasn't like he could refuse to pay me if I didn't go, because he wasn't paying me anyway. Everything he could have used for leverage didn't exist. You can't take away something you were never provided with in the first place. Tony had painted himself into a corner with his own greed and lack of real fairness. When it came time to use his chits he didn't have any and I damn well knew it.

(If you are reading this and have no real sense of a timeline let me clarify briefly. Most of what I have discussed here only took about 6 months to occur. The beginning, middle, and eventual end, of Tony and me was like a ride on a rocket ship. It had started out of nowhere and changed my life forever in 9 weeks. Then 4 or 5 more months of weirdness and it all ended with a bizarre conclusion. Everything that occurred between us went extremely fast. No real plan at all. No time to consider anything before it was done. So in essence mistakes had become commonplace).

As I was saying, Tony had become aware that the power he had had over me was now different. He could no longer command me like a dog without fear of being bitten. He looked for new ways to gain control and one of them was a live performance in Los Angeles which I had never done, other than American Bandstand, and a few other local television music shows, like Ninth Street West and Lloyd Thaxton. I knew that I would be performing by myself again, but Tony convinced me it would be the last time I'd have to do it, so I agreed.

He rented the old Ciro's nightclub on the Sunset Strip and put a 35 foot black silhouette of me on the roof which said, "Bobby Jameson Here! One Day Only." I don't know how many people Ciro's (now the comedy store) holds, but it was full on the day I played there. It was invitation only and I did my job well. I played by myself for those people with my guitar, an amplifier, and a microphone. No band just me and I was good. That was the last time I ever went on stage alone again. It seemed to be a moment in time that just got stuck and hasn't moved since that day.

After I played, I vaguely remember talking to people. I couldn't tell you who was there, but I remember leaving pretty quickly afterwards. I knew Tony would be making use of my work and make promises to people about my availability to perform somewhere. I knew he would get money in front from some of them, and I knew he never intended for me to show up. He just made money by promising things, but the promises were only used to get the money. It was a quirk I discovered about him. He could have made so much more if he had done it right, but he seemed doomed to an addiction of always pulling something off on people, like that was the point, when in fact that was the smallness of Tony.

He had big powerful ideas, but he always went for the chicken shit payoff. He had been offered deals by just about every major record company there was for me, but he wouldn't take it. He wanted to be like Col. Tom Parker who represented Elvis Presley. He wanted to be a big shot. The tragedy was that he damn near made it, but figured out a way to screw it up at the last minute. That was, and I would guess still is, Tony Alamo. It is easy for me to see this in Tony, because I have seen it in myself. Always getting so close to the dream coming true, and then at the last minute doing something insane, or just plain stupid, to screw it up, always with the tag that they, or he, or something made me fail. This is classic alcoholic thinking, I know because I am an alcoholic and I believe that Tony Alamo is too.

(part 9) EACH TIME I HEAR THE NAME TONY ALAMO

There is no explanation for this story. There is no hidden meaning. It was just one more confusing day in my life with Tony. The reason I posted this, is because for 43 years I have not forgotten it. Like a mental tattoo, it is just there in my mind, brought to life each time I hear the name Tony Alamo.

I still do not know why he sent me there. I was promoting a record and then out of nowhere this turned up. It is of primary importance to me, in that it preceded the eventual collapse of my relationship with Tony Alamo. This episode signaled to me, in the deepest way possible, that Tony was thinking in completely different terms than I was. He now appeared to be using me for some other purpose of his, which I could only guess about based on what I knew.

The ill child and my unwitting part in it, caught me completely off guard and placed me in a no win battle with myself. What did it mean? I didn't and still don't know, but I know it meant something to Tony. It caused me to change, in some final way, my entire view of what I was doing with him. I began questioning deeply whether I should continue to do anything with this man, who had single handedly put me in the life I was living.

This kind of cross purposes split me in half and left me with two completely different options to choose from. A crossroad! What was I going to do? How at 19 years old was I supposed to figure this damn mess out? Part of me still needed Tony and part of me was sure I had to get away from him before more weird things occurred. I knew for sure that Tony had been on some sort of God trip, but now I had to consider what that really meant. I had been kind of ignoring it, as best I could, hoping that it was just some trip he got on when he smoked pot. But in light of the kid in the bedroom, I began looking closer, a lot closer, at Tony's ranting about God.

There had been spooky overtones about religion in that house, and I had felt like a captured rat in that room with the priest and people falling to their knees. Hell I could have easily just assumed that the kid was excited to see me and was jumping up and down on an adrenaline rush. But those people seemed to take it to the next level, whatever that was. They appeared to me to be assigning some greater meaning to it all. Anyway, that's why I pretty much just ran out of the place and didn't talk to anyone. I did not want to discuss what had happened. I was 19. I was a damn pop star, not anything else. I was still that kid from nowhere who wanted to be famous.

Go to part 10